15 different types of mums you'll find at school
IT'S time we paid a tribute to all the amazing mums navigating the early morning chaos to provide an education to their children. You may be none of these, you may be several all rolled into one, but the one certainty is that you are SPECTACULAR!
So grab your coffee that's gone cold and delve in with us, for an exploration of the well-known school playground.
1. The model mum
This delightful creature looks like she's stepped off the pages of a Kmart catalogue. Dressed in a pastel pink twin set with pearls and a matching shoes/handbag combo, you'd think she was off to a fancy brunch straight after drop-off.
In beachier environments, she is sometimes known as the 'boho mum', who prefers to wear top-to-toe Camilla or Tigerlily, looking like she's just come back from Byron Bay.
2. The late mum
Best described as 'a blur' this mum rolls up to the school gate, illegally pulls into a no standing zone and nudges the kids out the door as she continuously rolls on to an appointment that she knew she'd be late for when she booked it.
Sometimes thought of as 'the relaxed mum' when she has also forgets to send lunch or lunch money, doesn't know when homework is due, and just generally doesn't give AF. Really, we should all strive to be this mum every now and then!
3. Activewear mum
We've all heard about this mum, and maybe even been here from time to time (guilty!). She wears serious workout clothes all day regardless of whether she's exercised, but hey, if you can rock a pair of tight leggings and a crop top, you've earned it, honey!
4. The busy mum
She's on all the committees and doesn't understand why you're not too. She's like Miss Rabbit in Peppa Pig ... she's everywhere. You see her at the canteen, in your kid's class helping out with the guided reading, at the Bunnings sausage sizzle, timing kids at the swimming carnival and right up front in assembly. This mum is so organised she has lists to keep track of her lists and is usually armed with a clipboard.
5. The canteen mum
A variant of the 'busy mum', this wondrous being once wore leggings and baggy T-shirts but these days it's all about the activewear. Donning Lorna Jane tights and coordinating stringy workout tee, she busies herself rounding up volunteers in the playground before school and calling the kids 'sweetie' and 'darling' as she hands over their change.
The canteen mum is also the mum all the other kids want to claim as their own because ... well, what kid doesn't want free food?
6. Crunchy mama
Wearing natural fibres, she lovingly hands over her child's stainless steel bento box containing homemade quinoa sushi and sugar-free granola bars inside, as she breastfeeds her three year old in a sling. She is forever smiling and giving off an air of calm. Commonly found migrating away from the next mother on our list.
7. Gossip mum
This one is a pain. She knows all about everything that's happened throughout the day because she 'helps ' at the school. She'll tell you if your kid has been hurt, naughty or nice all day. She has no concept of 'what happens at school stays at school' and has little trust in the passing on important information such as "your child got a detention today for swinging on his chair - you should really do something about that".
8. The slummy mummy
Look, we all have bad mornings, and if you think you've not had one, you're either kidding yourself or lying. The slummy mummy rolls up to school with her slippers on, crusty Weet-Bix smeared down the front of her T-shirt and yesterday's mascara emphasising the bags under he eyes. She's chewing on some gum she found in her car from last year because she forgot to brush her teeth.
9. The mollycoddling mama
This well-meaning mother's kid scrapes a knee and she sweeps them up into her arms with a very loud "OH MY DAAAARLING!" She sends another child to the school office for an ice pack and ponders an emergency trip to the medical centre. Infection: it's a distinct possibility.
10. The have-a-chat mum
This social butterfly is mostly seen every day in the mornings and afternoons hanging about, take-away coffee in hand, chatting up a storm to everyone there, inevitably holding up the exit gate. She has a young baby and is never late to pick-up, as that would cut into the 20 minutes of human interaction that she desperately needs after being limited to baby talk since drop-off.
11. The young mum
Often one of the most energetic and hand-on mums around, the young mum is unapologetically perky and her kid wears cooler clothes than your husband.
12. The screamer mum
We've all been this mum from time to time too. You can recognise this mum by sound when her kid drops the bag at her feet every day and runs to the playground. You'll hear her before you see her because she's screaming for her kid to "get down and get here now!" from 100m across the playground.
13. The used-to-be-cool mum
This woman always has an air of 'how the f*ck is THIS my life now?' about her. Seen in band shirts and Converse, she sighs when handed school notes. Most commonly seen avoiding 'the busy mum'.
14. The non mum
Often a playground favourite, the nanny or grandparent is like an oasis in the desert that is playground politics. They are the tiny speck of mutual ground when you're forced to enter enemy territory. Make friends with the non mum and you will never regret it.
15. The contrary mum
Also known as 'dad', this rare creature comes in different forms. There's the 'tradie dad', 'corporate dad' and even the uber rare, 'stay-at-home dad'. Not seen as often as the various types of mums, they are often a very much loved parent like all the others before them.
This article originally appeared on Kidspot and has been republished here with permission.